Henry: Can I speak to you, please? In private.
Mr. Lawson : Yes, of course.
Henry: I am sorry, Uncle David. I am sorry to have disturbed you in your chambers.
Mr. Lawson : No, no not at all, Henry. What brings you here and in such haste?
Henry : It is about my mother.
Mr. Lawson : I fear the day will come, Henry.
Henry : She is gravely ill and has taken to bed for 3 days.
Mr. Lawson : Has she gone to the hospital?
Henry : No, Uncle David. That is why I am here. Can you please talk to her? She only listens to you.
Mr. Lawson : I am afraid that I can't, Henry. My presence will only add more shame to her and bring misfortunes to her family, to you.
Henry : It is Uncle John, isn't it? He doesn't want you to see my mother again.
Mr. Lawson : He is only protecting his family.
Henry : You are only protecting someone you love. But on ther hand, Uncle John does not want to see her sister hurt again.
Mr. Lawson : Henry, you know when little boys grow up, numbers don't mean anything. It is what's in here, inside the heart, something grand happens. It is like winter melting into spring and the first flower blossoms to the first call of the birds. You become a man. Master Henry, you are now a man and there is no one else who can talk to your mother but you.
Monday, October 10, 2005
Sunday, October 09, 2005
Student for Life
Who wants to learn for life? Me. As long as I am clinically alive, I learn. I won't get a degree and am no where near to obtaining a PH.D! But it is not about qualification. It is about finding the bliss that opens invisible doors. In English it means, follow my dreams.
Friday, October 07, 2005
Mastery
"The ultimate leave-taking is the leaving of God for God."
- Meister Eckhart
The role of an arranger is not to exclude but to include everyone. She is to communicate the voices of the people and to provide information to avoid gaps of doubts and misunderstandings. All actions and decisions are never to promote self-gratification but collective happiness.
- Meister Eckhart
The role of an arranger is not to exclude but to include everyone. She is to communicate the voices of the people and to provide information to avoid gaps of doubts and misunderstandings. All actions and decisions are never to promote self-gratification but collective happiness.
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
Writing to Mother Teresa
Dear Mother,
This is my first letter to you. I hope that it is not too late. I know you will be able to read it, somewhere. To begin with, I am not a Christian. I can be religious and I pray to be spiritual. But in you I see God, Christ, the divine, love, compassion, the Buddha and the entire mankind. I don't see or even feel that a seperation exists among religions. When you speak of Christ, I find love emanating and when you speak of God, I sense the vibrations of the universe.
You touched my soul immensely and I find words too inadequate to tell you how I feel. But I will try. I ask that you could patiently listen to my impoverished speech.
I am a lost little child and am running in circles constantly. At times I see a light flickering out of no where and I run towards it only to find that it is an illusion. Even if I didn't imagine it, when I held it in my hands, I can't handle the heat. Very soon I pour water over it. I find excuses and the most ridiculous ones, mind you. Justifications are used to protect pains from usurping.
Maybe this is a confession, of course minus the priest and the small compartment. Maybe this is just another ego trip.
Mother, you forget about yourself completely and surrendered yourself to the divine. I am still stuck at the lowest level of materialism. If I can stop typing and seeking "I" choicelessly, perhaps I can hold your hands.
But you are a great mother. You will hold my hands irrespective of how pretentious and cruel I am. And this is what makes me weep. Because no matter what I have done, you forgave me.
I only pray that I can forgive myself.
Mother, can you...no, this is not how I want to put it.
Mother, love...love is great. Not the love for one person. But love for life. Respect and care for the elders, sick and less fortunate because then you are respecting and loving life itself. Then, love is for everyone.
Mother, the REAL thing can only be understood in silence. But I talk too much. A whole lot of rubbish most of the time. Because I think I am scared. Scared to be alone. Scared to face myself and God. So, there is a need to talk and chatter, chatter, chatter.
Mother, you know...
With what no words can spell out,
Wendy
This is my first letter to you. I hope that it is not too late. I know you will be able to read it, somewhere. To begin with, I am not a Christian. I can be religious and I pray to be spiritual. But in you I see God, Christ, the divine, love, compassion, the Buddha and the entire mankind. I don't see or even feel that a seperation exists among religions. When you speak of Christ, I find love emanating and when you speak of God, I sense the vibrations of the universe.
You touched my soul immensely and I find words too inadequate to tell you how I feel. But I will try. I ask that you could patiently listen to my impoverished speech.
I am a lost little child and am running in circles constantly. At times I see a light flickering out of no where and I run towards it only to find that it is an illusion. Even if I didn't imagine it, when I held it in my hands, I can't handle the heat. Very soon I pour water over it. I find excuses and the most ridiculous ones, mind you. Justifications are used to protect pains from usurping.
Maybe this is a confession, of course minus the priest and the small compartment. Maybe this is just another ego trip.
Mother, you forget about yourself completely and surrendered yourself to the divine. I am still stuck at the lowest level of materialism. If I can stop typing and seeking "I" choicelessly, perhaps I can hold your hands.
But you are a great mother. You will hold my hands irrespective of how pretentious and cruel I am. And this is what makes me weep. Because no matter what I have done, you forgave me.
I only pray that I can forgive myself.
Mother, can you...no, this is not how I want to put it.
Mother, love...love is great. Not the love for one person. But love for life. Respect and care for the elders, sick and less fortunate because then you are respecting and loving life itself. Then, love is for everyone.
Mother, the REAL thing can only be understood in silence. But I talk too much. A whole lot of rubbish most of the time. Because I think I am scared. Scared to be alone. Scared to face myself and God. So, there is a need to talk and chatter, chatter, chatter.
Mother, you know...
With what no words can spell out,
Wendy
Monday, October 03, 2005
The Biographer
A young girl at the tender age of 6 had a dream. She practiced singing and dancing in front of an improvised audience. She displayed pictures and posters of celebrities in a room and pretended to perform for them. She believed in this dream and it took her on a bountiful path. Twelve years later in 1979, she released her first Mandarin album in Taiwan and in 1984, her first Cantonese album in Hong Kong. A multi-talented artist, in 1980 she starred in her first movie, “One Match Stick”. Thereafter, nothing could stop the advent of Sally Yeh into the entertainment industry.
Born in Taipei on September 30th, 1961 Sally spent her early years and received her formal education in Victoria, Canada and as a result of which, English became her common language. Barely knowing much Cantonese and reading little Chinese, her foremost Cantonese song “Ten Minutes Passed Midnight” which was composed by her now husband, George Lam, became an instant hit.
A quarter of a century later, Sally has passed the test of time successfully. She kick-off a 25th anniversary concert tour last year with sold-out shows in Hong Kong, Malaysia, Beijing, Australia, Canada and U.S.A. This year she was invited to perform with the prestigious Hong Kong Philharmonic Orchestra and demonstrated that she is still the queen of Canto-pop. With nearly 100 solo performances world wide under her belt, she is deemed to be a darling of Asian music scene who never fails to mesmerize.
True to her words, Sally will not settle for anything less than perfection. This is why each of her 30 albums reflects the determination, integrity and potency of Sally as an artist. Her inimitable style and authentic vocal won her countless awards and she is Hong Kong’s best female singer for four consecutive years at the Jade Solid Gold Award Presentation ceremony. She won two major “Song of the Year” awards in 1988 and 1990. After returning from a 5-year hiatus in 2002, radio stations such as RTHK and Metro Showbiz unanimously honored her come back hit “Bygone Hurt”. Outside of Hong Kong, Sally has established a household name whereby she rightfully garnered the best female singer award from Taiwan, Singapore and Malaysia in the 1990s. She was also a prime Asian artist to have sung with James Ingram and Tommy Page.
When it comes to acting, Sally is a serious and dedicated worker. An iron lady, she took up wu shu training and kickboxing and suffered from back injuries as a result of falling off a horse in a scene. Despite the pains, she went into the studio to record the theme song of the movie for two hours. Her efforts were recognized when she was nominated for “Best Actress” at the 6th Hong Kong Film Awards for her role in “Beijing Opera Blues”. To the disappointment of many fans, after starring in 25 movies she has decided to take a break until the right script comes along as she wants to concentrate more on music. Her last movie was “Sisters of the World Unite” in 1991.
The zealous and energetic Sally is heavily involved in badminton now and is actively promoting the healthy sport. At 44, this beautifully groomed lady and wife is setting an example for the younger generation. Sally Yeh has always done things her way but her sincerity will leave an everlasting impact on every fan.
Born in Taipei on September 30th, 1961 Sally spent her early years and received her formal education in Victoria, Canada and as a result of which, English became her common language. Barely knowing much Cantonese and reading little Chinese, her foremost Cantonese song “Ten Minutes Passed Midnight” which was composed by her now husband, George Lam, became an instant hit.
A quarter of a century later, Sally has passed the test of time successfully. She kick-off a 25th anniversary concert tour last year with sold-out shows in Hong Kong, Malaysia, Beijing, Australia, Canada and U.S.A. This year she was invited to perform with the prestigious Hong Kong Philharmonic Orchestra and demonstrated that she is still the queen of Canto-pop. With nearly 100 solo performances world wide under her belt, she is deemed to be a darling of Asian music scene who never fails to mesmerize.
True to her words, Sally will not settle for anything less than perfection. This is why each of her 30 albums reflects the determination, integrity and potency of Sally as an artist. Her inimitable style and authentic vocal won her countless awards and she is Hong Kong’s best female singer for four consecutive years at the Jade Solid Gold Award Presentation ceremony. She won two major “Song of the Year” awards in 1988 and 1990. After returning from a 5-year hiatus in 2002, radio stations such as RTHK and Metro Showbiz unanimously honored her come back hit “Bygone Hurt”. Outside of Hong Kong, Sally has established a household name whereby she rightfully garnered the best female singer award from Taiwan, Singapore and Malaysia in the 1990s. She was also a prime Asian artist to have sung with James Ingram and Tommy Page.
When it comes to acting, Sally is a serious and dedicated worker. An iron lady, she took up wu shu training and kickboxing and suffered from back injuries as a result of falling off a horse in a scene. Despite the pains, she went into the studio to record the theme song of the movie for two hours. Her efforts were recognized when she was nominated for “Best Actress” at the 6th Hong Kong Film Awards for her role in “Beijing Opera Blues”. To the disappointment of many fans, after starring in 25 movies she has decided to take a break until the right script comes along as she wants to concentrate more on music. Her last movie was “Sisters of the World Unite” in 1991.
The zealous and energetic Sally is heavily involved in badminton now and is actively promoting the healthy sport. At 44, this beautifully groomed lady and wife is setting an example for the younger generation. Sally Yeh has always done things her way but her sincerity will leave an everlasting impact on every fan.
Saturday, October 01, 2005
Imaginations
Power comes to those who wait.
Power comes to those who know how to use it.
Power comes to those who do not take sides.
Power comes to those who do not rely on knowledge.
Power comes to those who are sincere.
Power comes to those who are free.
Power comes to those who know how to use it.
Power comes to those who do not take sides.
Power comes to those who do not rely on knowledge.
Power comes to those who are sincere.
Power comes to those who are free.
Friday, September 30, 2005
A Star is Born
29th September, 2005
I wish for your peaceful sleep tonight
Four decades and four years in flight
Your life is meaningful and bright
The break of dawn takes you to a greater height.
30th September, 2005
I wish for your everlasting happiness
Be blessed with eternal goodness
You receive the touch of holliness
And your every dream materializes.
Many blissful returns of the day!
With love on your Birthday as on any other day,
Wendy
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Timeless
I don’t quite know how to talk to you
The communication doesn’t always break through
But that doesn’t stop me from loving you.
I don’t know what makes you smile
I will try everything, even if it is not worthwhile
Because I can’t stop loving you.
I don’t know why I do what I do
When the feelings start to rule
How much I really love you.
I don’t know if I am stupid and lost
Insane, brainless and a shameless ghost
All I know is I love you.
I know I won’t get anything in return
I didn’t ask for a kiss and a hug
All I want is only to love you.
With this love beating in my heart
I will give you all I can cast
You don’t know how truly I love you.
I really do…
The communication doesn’t always break through
But that doesn’t stop me from loving you.
I don’t know what makes you smile
I will try everything, even if it is not worthwhile
Because I can’t stop loving you.
I don’t know why I do what I do
When the feelings start to rule
How much I really love you.
I don’t know if I am stupid and lost
Insane, brainless and a shameless ghost
All I know is I love you.
I know I won’t get anything in return
I didn’t ask for a kiss and a hug
All I want is only to love you.
With this love beating in my heart
I will give you all I can cast
You don’t know how truly I love you.
I really do…
Humility
If we were humble, nothing would change us - neither praise nor discouragement.
If someone were to criticize us, we would not feel discouraged.
If someone would praise us, we also would not feel proud.
~Mother Teresa
***
From the great Mother I learnt that when I surrender myself completely to God and keep my mind focused on the truth of reality and to pray whole-heartedly, there is no need to search for the meaning of life. Because then life is full and complete, as I am living in the image of God.
It is better to give than to receive, better to love then to be loved and better understand than to be understood. God is not kept as a symbol, an object, a crucifix and a being that I know subjectively and neither is God what others dictate to be but is accepted and known ultimately as a presence in everything.
Not to what I think thou art but to what thou knowest thyself to be.
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
Heartbeat
I have to get it very right. Why do I need a reply? Let not the emotions get to my head.
I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU!
************
I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU!
Sunday, September 25, 2005
A Letter to Father
Dear papa or should I call you daddy
Whatever, leave it - both names are silly
Maybe father as I always called you
If you remember, I am your kid too
I don't mean to be rude
My writing neurotic and crude
Even when you rest in peace
I caused you unease
The trees are quiet if you want to know
Awaiting a thunder to blow
As I write you this letter
Your image is a fetter
I don't know when was the last time we hugged
Not that I mind but when I saw you on the rug
Your face a little blue
What should I do?
Touching your hand seems so strange
Air suffocates your eyes estranged
For me to be there at that moment
To you it must be a torment
Your last seconds in the host
Before a person you dread most
Though I wished you lasted a little longer
For there is a question I have no answer
Should I get a reply
I wouldn't even ask why
It's the same puzzle torturing you
A confrontation overdue
The secret now lays burried
In death it shall be cherished
Your name I carry forever
The pain I forget never
How can I learn to cry?
A thunder sounds the evening sky
But it will never rain
No water to quench the grain
As I write you this letter
Your image is a fetter.
Whatever, leave it - both names are silly
Maybe father as I always called you
If you remember, I am your kid too
I don't mean to be rude
My writing neurotic and crude
Even when you rest in peace
I caused you unease
The trees are quiet if you want to know
Awaiting a thunder to blow
As I write you this letter
Your image is a fetter
I don't know when was the last time we hugged
Not that I mind but when I saw you on the rug
Your face a little blue
What should I do?
Touching your hand seems so strange
Air suffocates your eyes estranged
For me to be there at that moment
To you it must be a torment
Your last seconds in the host
Before a person you dread most
Though I wished you lasted a little longer
For there is a question I have no answer
Should I get a reply
I wouldn't even ask why
It's the same puzzle torturing you
A confrontation overdue
The secret now lays burried
In death it shall be cherished
Your name I carry forever
The pain I forget never
How can I learn to cry?
A thunder sounds the evening sky
But it will never rain
No water to quench the grain
As I write you this letter
Your image is a fetter.
Friday, September 23, 2005
the threat of pride
Schopenhaeur once said, "You can do all you want but not WANT what you want." This didn't mean much to me during the initial times of reading. Nevertheless inspirational phrases are not words we admire aesthetically but rather are experiences that delineate life. What this points to is that it is good to be confident and lift your actions to a higher plane. Although what you want is to be conceited cloaked behind boldness and bravery. Do take heed that unless one is fearful, there is no need to be brave. Confidence is not the opposite of cowardice. Confidence is a natural glow from inside and is neither an act nor inaction.
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Birthday Post
This picture has nothing to do with my birthday (20 Sept 2005). I just love it. I won't bother telling you who the lady in white is since you can't really see her face. As long as my heart knows, it is more than enough.
-----&-----
# Mummy, I love you for sentimental reasons.
# What is more remarkable and amazing than to start off a birthday by learning something new - RADIETHESIA. The best gift ever. Is science scientific? A result of science is only conclusive in so far as to prove the hypothesis it was set out to solve at a current time. This is true until a new hypothesis can prove the result incorrect. Another question, what amounts to being scientific? Who decides?
Saturday, September 17, 2005
Three Leaves
"If you meet buddha on the road kill him" - it means do not follow him, make your own way...find the right path for you...if you are following others, you aren't true to yourself...kill the current idea of the buddha...that he was this christ like figure that must be a deity...he never wanted to be revered or remembered that way...
the two best allegories or symbolisms for buddhism are..."do not confuse the finger pointing to the moon with the moon"...and two..."buddhism is like an island in the middle of a lake..it will not tell you what you will find on the island...it will tell you to go find out for yourself.
typing out the words is easier than actually doing what the words are formed to convey...how to find a path and where to begin...is there a beginning...should i give up my entire possession to find this path.
if you read books on buddhism it appears that buddha did prescribe a method for willing folks...but as you read and absorb what he teaches you end-up admiring him and turned him into a divine protector of your life.
this mistake is very simple to make...because the buddha is someone sacred...an enlightened human being one tends to elavate his status and worshipping inevitably starts.
maybe it is human nature to want to idolise or make something or someone else more superior...to be alone means one does not exist...and this is a general presumption that one makes of themselves and others...for example there must be someone i love / admire...does the name sally yeh ring a bell...i am sarcastic and it may hit others as well but it is aimed at me...please don't think it is personal.
it need not be sally yeh...even religion can be an object of admiration turning out fanatics and murderers...it works on similar principles but the outcome is different...idolising sally yeh is more of an escape route taken by fans to get away from unpleasantness...i won't deny that sally makes me feel good and it does make me feel special and this is what fans look for...a hero they can relate to... one which completes their wildest dreams and imaginations...denying that sally-loving is not something that makes a fan feel nice is a blatant lie...might as well own up to it...cut the bullocks on only wanting to keep sally happy etc...another denial.
how did we get here...anyway...sally yeh is worshipping in a mildest form...as in there isn't any sally yeh temple around yet...no don't think i am saying it is wrong to love sally...i don't mean it this way...it has to happened because the events have turned out this way a fan has to go through the process...it is not a matter of it being fair or not but living the experience and letting it go.
i can go on for ages about attachment...but there is one thing i'd like to make known here...attachment is part of the noble truths...buddha said desires and thirst cause sufferring...and this in turn brings about a karmic reaction...but desires are also brought about by karma...and if you don't get it by now we are talking about a cycle...there is no beginning and ending...you can't find a spot and declare it as a starting point...to end this suffering is not by denying and finding excuses but to actually understand it...truly understanding it...so that another condition would not arise to bring about another attachment...but please remember that it is a karmic reaction...one must still bear the consequences even after understanding and seeing the truth...one can't escape from it but one is then ready to accept it and it ends completely...no more conditions arising.
finished.
the two best allegories or symbolisms for buddhism are..."do not confuse the finger pointing to the moon with the moon"...and two..."buddhism is like an island in the middle of a lake..it will not tell you what you will find on the island...it will tell you to go find out for yourself.
typing out the words is easier than actually doing what the words are formed to convey...how to find a path and where to begin...is there a beginning...should i give up my entire possession to find this path.
if you read books on buddhism it appears that buddha did prescribe a method for willing folks...but as you read and absorb what he teaches you end-up admiring him and turned him into a divine protector of your life.
this mistake is very simple to make...because the buddha is someone sacred...an enlightened human being one tends to elavate his status and worshipping inevitably starts.
maybe it is human nature to want to idolise or make something or someone else more superior...to be alone means one does not exist...and this is a general presumption that one makes of themselves and others...for example there must be someone i love / admire...does the name sally yeh ring a bell...i am sarcastic and it may hit others as well but it is aimed at me...please don't think it is personal.
it need not be sally yeh...even religion can be an object of admiration turning out fanatics and murderers...it works on similar principles but the outcome is different...idolising sally yeh is more of an escape route taken by fans to get away from unpleasantness...i won't deny that sally makes me feel good and it does make me feel special and this is what fans look for...a hero they can relate to... one which completes their wildest dreams and imaginations...denying that sally-loving is not something that makes a fan feel nice is a blatant lie...might as well own up to it...cut the bullocks on only wanting to keep sally happy etc...another denial.
how did we get here...anyway...sally yeh is worshipping in a mildest form...as in there isn't any sally yeh temple around yet...no don't think i am saying it is wrong to love sally...i don't mean it this way...it has to happened because the events have turned out this way a fan has to go through the process...it is not a matter of it being fair or not but living the experience and letting it go.
i can go on for ages about attachment...but there is one thing i'd like to make known here...attachment is part of the noble truths...buddha said desires and thirst cause sufferring...and this in turn brings about a karmic reaction...but desires are also brought about by karma...and if you don't get it by now we are talking about a cycle...there is no beginning and ending...you can't find a spot and declare it as a starting point...to end this suffering is not by denying and finding excuses but to actually understand it...truly understanding it...so that another condition would not arise to bring about another attachment...but please remember that it is a karmic reaction...one must still bear the consequences even after understanding and seeing the truth...one can't escape from it but one is then ready to accept it and it ends completely...no more conditions arising.
finished.
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Friday, September 09, 2005
Follow Your Heart
Music & Lyrics : Paul Barry & Mark Taylor
Performed by : Mario Frangoulis
Every little tear you cry
Leaves your heart so heavy
Every time you hear goodbye
You wonder will it ever end
There's nothing I can tell you
The world moves on and on
But I still believe in LOVE
Follow your heart
Wherever it takes you
Nobody knows
Where the wind blows
No one can say
Follow your derams
Whenever they find you
Lost and alone
The light in the storm
Will always be with you
If you follow your heart
When the world's a little crazy
The truth's so hard to find
But I still believe in LOVE
Follow your heart
Whenever it takes you
Nobody knows
Where the wind blows
No one can say
Follow your dreams
Wherever they find you
Lovers and friends
THEY FADE IN THE END
But the love that's inside you
Grows stronger inside you
Will always be with you
Follow your heart.
This is the theme of my life. It is extremely well crafted in this song and beautifully sung by Mario.
Performed by : Mario Frangoulis
Every little tear you cry
Leaves your heart so heavy
Every time you hear goodbye
You wonder will it ever end
There's nothing I can tell you
The world moves on and on
But I still believe in LOVE
Follow your heart
Wherever it takes you
Nobody knows
Where the wind blows
No one can say
Follow your derams
Whenever they find you
Lost and alone
The light in the storm
Will always be with you
If you follow your heart
When the world's a little crazy
The truth's so hard to find
But I still believe in LOVE
Follow your heart
Whenever it takes you
Nobody knows
Where the wind blows
No one can say
Follow your dreams
Wherever they find you
Lovers and friends
THEY FADE IN THE END
But the love that's inside you
Grows stronger inside you
Will always be with you
Follow your heart.
This is the theme of my life. It is extremely well crafted in this song and beautifully sung by Mario.
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
All or nothing
Having a choice means not having freedom.
Timothy can either pick A or B though he wants to have A and B. He doesn't have an option. He can only take one and abandon the other. This tantamounts to figuring out which one is better, cheaper, faster and prettier. In the end Timothy chooses the one which gives him the highest amount of happiness.
He thinks he is free to choose but does he? When one has total freedom and not curtailed freedom dictated by what the government orders, friends think, family believes and religion dictates there is no need for choice. What Timothy has is conditioned freedom because the decision he makes is influenced by many factors and so how can anyone be free under such circumstances?
When one is free, there is no need to choose anything. The answer is already there and there will be no confusion, fights and misunderstanding.
Timothy is not free and so am I.
Saturday, September 03, 2005
Hole with a view
what we see and know now, is only a dot of infinity.
The problem is we think we know everything. Thinking we are smart is really dangerous. The potential of mind shutting is actualized. After that the talk becomes face value. The conversations run around trivial and dramatized notions. We stretch the surface without going deeper and exploring other perceptions. The rest of the doors are sealed and shut because we think such doors don't exist. There is only one door way.
It is a struggle to break free from walking in and out one door way. This only brings to mind rejection and failing to fit in. The question to ask is compliance that important? Following orders have become our nature and we do it without blinking.
Shouldn't following our heart be something we do without blinking? It is not even a conscious act but an automated field of actions. Because in this one act plants the seed of past, present and future. It is known with wisdom and not just knowledge.
Look further, Contemplate deeper
Inwardly be free of all hopes and desires, but outwardly do what needs to be done. Without hopes in your heart, live as if you were full of hopes. Live with your heart now cool and now warm, just like everyone else. Inwardly give up the idea "I am the doer," yet outwardly engage in all activities. This is how to live in the world, completely free from the least trace of ego.
-Maharamayana
HURRICANE KATRINA SURVIVORS and VICTIMS
While I was lamenting how I can't have what I want and why certain things have worked against a pre-planned timetable, I was a complete idiot. It is indeed true and I could have done my prayers a million times, I won't understand the meaning of impermanence until it collides with the ignorance on my part. Everything changes and nothing really lasts forever. Unfortunately, each time something I want dissipates from my vision, there is anger. In the midst of this anger, I failed to see the actual fruits of my labour because I was blinded by wrath and the feeling of disappointment. If only there was more patience, I could have spotted the light.
It puts me to shame to be extremely short sighted and for not being able to understand and receive the universal language of love. Here we have a catastrophic disaster in New Orleans, all beyond anyone's control which led to multitudes of death and property damage. The amount of looting, rapes, fights and fires that broke out in the wake of devastation really puts a big question to compassion and kindness. What happened to mankind? Unity seems to have diminished and have been digested by the selfishness of the moments.
The endorsement of "I am this and I am that" definitely helped to harden the heart. Every man for himself and every woman for herself. In this age of self-preservation, is there any more room for unconditional love? Can I even get near the shadow of love. I am not talking about love for pleasure, ownership and control. But I am talking about love that is beyond the comprehension of words. Infinite love.
Sincere wishes to New Orleans. May you soon find and embrace the light.
-Maharamayana
HURRICANE KATRINA SURVIVORS and VICTIMS
While I was lamenting how I can't have what I want and why certain things have worked against a pre-planned timetable, I was a complete idiot. It is indeed true and I could have done my prayers a million times, I won't understand the meaning of impermanence until it collides with the ignorance on my part. Everything changes and nothing really lasts forever. Unfortunately, each time something I want dissipates from my vision, there is anger. In the midst of this anger, I failed to see the actual fruits of my labour because I was blinded by wrath and the feeling of disappointment. If only there was more patience, I could have spotted the light.
It puts me to shame to be extremely short sighted and for not being able to understand and receive the universal language of love. Here we have a catastrophic disaster in New Orleans, all beyond anyone's control which led to multitudes of death and property damage. The amount of looting, rapes, fights and fires that broke out in the wake of devastation really puts a big question to compassion and kindness. What happened to mankind? Unity seems to have diminished and have been digested by the selfishness of the moments.
The endorsement of "I am this and I am that" definitely helped to harden the heart. Every man for himself and every woman for herself. In this age of self-preservation, is there any more room for unconditional love? Can I even get near the shadow of love. I am not talking about love for pleasure, ownership and control. But I am talking about love that is beyond the comprehension of words. Infinite love.
Sincere wishes to New Orleans. May you soon find and embrace the light.
Monday, August 29, 2005
the core
Why do you scream? Why do you jump? Why do you do the things you do?
What motivates everything? What is the intention behind my writing this?
I really don't know. Because the deeper I dwell, the more it becomes unclear. I don't find definitions working any longer.
Is it my mind or yours when you pretend that you don't care. It is such a joke because people repress themselves so much. For what? To be cool seems to be the common answer. It annoys me to no end when people don't get it that an honest answer or action comes from within and not from what the society says.
When someone doesn't follow the crowd, s/he believes that s/he must fight agaisnt this and that. In other words, be rude and fight for what they believe they want - I am ORGINAL. These group of people are just so wrong and ignorant. Because what they are doing is endorsing ruthlessness and hatred in society. The society functions in a battle-style. A vs B, left vs right and so on. On the other hand, merely following instructions leaves one in a mechanical trance.
However looking at this whole mess which the world is in, nothing seems to be a solution so long as it is merely addressing things on a superficial level. The world does not need another religion, another nuclear weapon, another exotic island, another luxurious car and another assassination.
All these shit I go through with friends or whatever they call themselves only prove one point. No one is sincere. You scratch my back and I scratch yours is the name of the game. But I don't buy it. Not any longer. I am tired.
What is happening to my mind now?
What motivates everything? What is the intention behind my writing this?
I really don't know. Because the deeper I dwell, the more it becomes unclear. I don't find definitions working any longer.
Is it my mind or yours when you pretend that you don't care. It is such a joke because people repress themselves so much. For what? To be cool seems to be the common answer. It annoys me to no end when people don't get it that an honest answer or action comes from within and not from what the society says.
When someone doesn't follow the crowd, s/he believes that s/he must fight agaisnt this and that. In other words, be rude and fight for what they believe they want - I am ORGINAL. These group of people are just so wrong and ignorant. Because what they are doing is endorsing ruthlessness and hatred in society. The society functions in a battle-style. A vs B, left vs right and so on. On the other hand, merely following instructions leaves one in a mechanical trance.
However looking at this whole mess which the world is in, nothing seems to be a solution so long as it is merely addressing things on a superficial level. The world does not need another religion, another nuclear weapon, another exotic island, another luxurious car and another assassination.
All these shit I go through with friends or whatever they call themselves only prove one point. No one is sincere. You scratch my back and I scratch yours is the name of the game. But I don't buy it. Not any longer. I am tired.
What is happening to my mind now?
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