Drawing the Line

When I have had enough, I must know how to stop. Because not everyone is sincere and wants to be genuine friends. If I feel that they are making use of my time, money, effort and resources; I must either shoot back at them or back off.

I must be WISE and not allow the negativity that arises overrule my senses. It is normal to feel the WAY I do. But it is how I react, which matters where I will go.

May the force be with me because I am really alone on this.

Ciao!

Over the Moon

I had a dream last night. I dreamt that I died. It wasn't so bad to leap out of my current consciousness of existence and drift into one-ness. The feelings were quite amazing. I think that sleep is training us to accept death when we are at the gate to letting go permenantly of this cycle of birth. We cling on so much to life because of desires and fear of death. Think about it. Everything is like a wheel of fortune. It spins round and round. Things come and go. If we stand at the edge of the wheel we too go up and down and gripping on things that have past and hoping the next swing would turn out good.

On the other hand if we stand in the hub of the wheel, where stillness sets in between the spins, we find our balance. The core of our universe is in us if we stand still for just one second and think deep. The wheel can go round and round at various speeds but we are not bothered by it. We stand and watch in peace.

It's like marriage. Two people pledge their love, loyalty and the rest of their lives to each other. But it is not that she is married to him or he is married to her. They are married to marriage itself. There is no more I or Me. It has become We and Us. The unity of two to complete the circle. The one-ness. Marriage gives the couple stability, binding them to the ground. Just like a baseball player, unless his feet are planted firmly to the ground he won't be able to make a good hit at the target.

When we find and understand this stillness, we won't be blown away by winds of temptation. Very often marriage is looked upon as a social obligation and not something that goes beyond what meets the eye.

Kicking myself on the butt: Please don't expect too much. Things are meant to be the way they are and what's yours is yours. If it is not, be generous and let go.

Ciao!

Wheel of Fortune

For a building to stand tall its' foundation shall be solid.

How things can change over night! This saying is just too true. When yesterday I was blamed for childishly attacking Audrey, today Audrey apologised because things are not as what she thought they were. But then maybe just maybe, I was overtly enthusiastic in my reply to S which created this misunderstanding.

I see where Audrey was coming from and I can't blame her for long. When in fact I extended my apologies because even if it was not my intention to offend her; the end result is she was hurt by my words. Whether directly or indirectly, I have caused her pain. I have not done wrong but that does not mean a good deed would not result others to suffer.

It is interesting to note how each and everyone of us finally pander to keeping S happy and maintaining peace because very simply we love her.

I love these few lines from the theme song of "Beauty & the Beast". To end this post, I will share with you something that is running constantly at the back of my mind.

Barely even friends
Then somebody bends
Unexpectedly.

I will listen to some Sally Yeh later, read a book and get some good rest. =)

Ciao!

Silence

How easilly one can be misuderstood? At a wink of an eye.

Although it was not my intention to defend S and in turn attacked Audrey; some how it has been interpreted that what I wrote to S was to put Audrey in a bad light.

I only wanted to offer an option to read the thank you message and to explore the different methods in writing English. I am not saying that I am right and Audrey is wrong. I just want to inform S that context determines the content. One need not have to hold on tight to a strict interpretation of a particular word but rather look at how and where the word is used. Examine the situations under which a word is used.

I have chosen not to reply Audrey and let the matter rest. For I see it is pointless to start an argument or to apologize because I don't think I have done wrong. Audrey is also trying to state a point although she did attack me on a personal level and said I was childish.

Mr. Campbell Sir, I agree with you totally how some people don't understand what a metaphor is and equate metaphor to a lie. Bless you, Sir. Bless your good heart and keen mind.

But that is how some people are and if I can't convince them then just let them be. I just have to find my right audience.

Sometimes silence is the best reply one can give.

Ciao.

The Train Ride Home II

Enthralled II

What triggered me that day when taking the train home was a family consisting of two children; a boy and a girl. The boy was about 3 and the girl about 6 or so. The mother was a bubbly and fair lady. Slightly on the larger side but she was a typical homely caretaker. The father seemd to me to be a member of the armed forces. There was something about the sternness of his face and the disciplinarian dictator which showed when he communicated with his spouse and children.

From my observations it was apparent that the father favoured the boy more than the girl. The little rascal was horribly naughty but his running about and mischievious grins made him sparkle like a star. Nevertheless I found the girl to be equally appealing for she had lovely curls although quite messy at that time and such a sweet smile.

But it was not the looks that prompted the father to love the son more. He would play with the boy, pulled him close to his face, cuddle, tickle and hustle him with his huge fist while the girl watched in anxiety. Possibly wondering when would it be her turn? She wanted to get closer to her father. She tried to immitate her younger brother by running around hoping that daddy would pull her close and sit her on his lap.

To her dismay, her efforts were only misunderstood by her father when she was reprimanded and ordered to sit down. She gladly plonked herself next to daddy and mingled with the happy duo as though as she was part of the act. However father became serious and warned her to stop. He said in the meanest tone ever, "Go sit with mother." And he continued playing with his son.

Feeling rejected she went to mummy. At that point I felt so sorry for the poor girl. But then mummy was there to comfort her and hugged her warmly. I could see that the little girl's face lit up immediately.

Sometimes I wonder why do parents discriminate? As humans I understand that we have our favourites. The color, food, car, book, movie, cell phone and clothes that one likes best. But these are inanimate material objects that money can buy. But the most important things are those that money can't buy. Like love, emotions, care, consideration. One's own child, friendship. How can one equate a child, a person to a book?

Maybe the girl did something wrong to annoy her father and thus he was still angry. Perhaps in the Asian society, a daughter is expected to behave with decorum and it is a taboo for a father to get physically near his daughter. The history of their relationship I have no knowledge. In other words I shouldn't judge because I am only imposing my values on them because I never had that much of physically restrictions when it comes to my dad.

I am not saying that I am always fair to everyone. I too have persons whom I like but not prefer. There is no comparisons between one person over another because they are two different individuals with two contrasting personalities. I like A not because A is better than B or C or D. I like A because I do.

But then it is always difficult to apply philosophy to life. It's all nice and sunny on papers. When the situation arises we act brashly and out of sync.

So it is important to reflect, implement and execute. Not just talk.

Ciao!

Card...a special card

You are most welcome!