Thursday, June 23, 2005

Same

I am departing from where I started in truth, spirit and righteousness. No longer is there light but restlessness and I question why?

Because I do not see that everything is the same.


Silly

The thoughts that haunt the mind come from the past and are projected into the future. What happened in the past accumulates and burdens the mind causing emotions to flare. Something as innocent as a pen on a table triggers the anger and hate for a friend. The mind builds them up by creating juicy visuals like a movie unfolding in a cinema. Such emotions are bodily reactions, which we can feel and they affect us negatively. Upon observation, these thoughts of the past have finished and what the mind imagines to occur in the future have not or will never happen. The unhappy situations involving the friend are over and what lives on are mere memories and a tarnished ego.

Isn't it ridiculous to hang on to previous pains and not only that, there seems to be a need to add more sorrows by continuing them in the future?

Monday, June 20, 2005

Eternal Surrender

It is funny when you are actually aware and not just think that you are aware of how much crap you have accumulated in life. It's like taking drugs. For those who have tried it, I am sure you know what I am on about. Or for those who drink to drown sorrows only to wake up with more pains than before. The things we do to avoid pain, anger, disappointment, sadness, strife, jealousy and sorrows but only to accept it we will never do.

It can't happen to me. I can't be unhappy so when that feeling of sadness or anger comes, we run and more often we blame. It is not my fault. We blame everything from our broken childhood to dominating parents to quota system for the the privileged to inconsiderate work mates to selfish teachers to our useless spouse to the driver next to us and the list is never ending. We spend so much time and effort blaming others only to feed our anger and negative thoughts.

Perhaps, we enjoy being in pain because in this state we feel comfortable. We are accustomed to it and we become numb. It takes a lot of effort to get out of it. Not because there is a better, bigger and sweeter reward when we do. But it is a fact that sinking in pain is unhealthy, almost insane. However looking at the state of humanity it is normal to be insane.

Nevertheless, if you can just step out of this madness and stop popping that pill. What there is is merely short term pleasure and not eternal love. The happiness you feel is temporary and once the situation changes, your entire kingdom of smiles collapses.

The junk we have absorbed is just too much. We move so much. Even when we rest our mind continues to be in neurotic spins. Thoughts from the past charges in to stir our stillness and worries for tomorrow never leave us.

Just be present. Don't think. Don't move. Just be here NOW.