you and me

It is easy to be attracted to a person physically. I am not sure if you know of someone who slowly consumes your thoughts, actions, emotions and ultimately your life. To be honest, I was a fool to have once surrendered myself completely to an individual. So far so that I was living for the happiness of this person to my detriment. My expections of this person to provide emotional stability was immensely high that it reached a point of absurdity. I professed to love deeply but the person I wrongfully love was myself. The more I pursued this relationship, the darker the day became.

I was told that I was attached to this person and a realisation did appear but not for long. When a relationship is based solely on what's on the outside, it is doomed to fail. The emotional gush and the feeling of lightness will soon subside. A grave mistake comes into being when one marries at this stage. Because once the initial romance dies, there is nothing left for the couple to love.

Expectation and demands are evil. It is not about one person having a right to demand another person to do some gratifying acts. It is like a child demanding for a new toy and you see him rolling on the floor exploding in anger and tantrums. Parents often feel hurt and guitly for not being able to provide for their child, or else they are irritated and do as told. Emotional blackmail is the name of the game. Once we fall prey to emotional blackmail - because we do not want to hurt the other person, we in actual fact are worried that if we do otherwise, no one will like us; especially if it involves someone we claim to dearly love. Emotional blackmail works squarely on our weakness of wanting to be liked and popular.

If this realisation begins to crack the root of my devotion, then I am allowing the light to flow in. Before the first crack occured, I felt the entire world breaking into tiny pieces, like shattered glass. From each fragment I see different reflections of the same thing in every possible distortion. To see the truth, I have to stop looking at the reflection but seeing the object.

It is but a shadow and thought I love.