June used to be my meditation course mate. When I first met her she was this hyper active individual. Every little thing excited her or made her extremely unhappy. She said that she wanted to control her emotions because it was taking her to extremes and she was rather disturbed by it. She was afraid that it would affect her health and her relationship with her husband. She had her blood pressure and ECG checked and they showed signs that her mood swings were applying unwanted stress on her heart.
When one sees her one would think she is the most bubbly person you have ever met. She would burst into laughters and even roll onto the floor if something was funny. We all enjoyed her company. However, our meditation master warned that she needed to find a balance; a neutral zone where her emotions are not magnified by her unrest mind. If not she will suffer from a nervous breakdown.
After about 10 lessons, I saw some changes in her. She was calmer and would not over react to the smallest of incident. The look on her face was serene and a sudden glow enveloped the crown of her head. I was delighted to find such progress.
Lately I received an email from her. She told me that her friends prefer the "old" June. Because she is now too serious, calm and unexcitable. Her friends would do their best to bring here back to her old state. Until they succeed to either tease her to fight back or make her anxious, they would not stop.
Maybe her friends do not know how important it is for June to keep a calm state. Perhaps they want someone who could entertain them. To them June was being arrogant and was putting up a front to make herself more superior. But they don't realise that inner peace is something that June and everyone need. If June feels that being hyper active is bothering her, then she has every right to make positive changes. As friends we should support her and not condemn her for her effort.
It is not easy to judge and know what is right and wrong. Even the wisest cannot tell what will happen in the end. What is right and wrong is always conditional and never absolute. What is right now can be wrong when the context has changed and when our interpretation of what is good has changed. But I deeply believe that there are some basic fundamental goodness in all of us. This won't change. Killing and stealing are wrong no matter under what circumstances. Exceptions are by far few and little. Robin Hoods are not free from legal punishments either. Two wrongs don't make a right.
I think modern people are losing their divinity - their union with God and nature. Because to venture into the realm of the divine is to erase all boxes of black and white. We have now shades of grey and uncertainty. What's on the outside is very clear because we see others do it. We see our parents, friends and enemies do it. But to know the truth of the matter is to look inside yourself. To go to that place of sanctuary in heaven not above you but in you. It is there where you will find that what is right and wrong shouldn't really matter but only a play of mind.
To get there, I think I am far from it. The forest is too thick and the air too damp. Maybe one day I will be there and truly enjoy the breeze.
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