It has been bugging for two days. But I was too busy to pen it down until I couldn't hold back any longer. So I am stealing time from my client and colleagues to furtively pour my thoughts here.
Before it slips my mind to beneath the polished ego, I shall etch it clearly that I have been making the same error since I was 13. Nevertheless I deliberately forget for the temptation of self pity and sensuality are strong. They are not over powering the pillar of insight and balance but just darker, hotter, steamier and delicisously captivating. So they seem to be. Not them as in the physical sense but the thoughts. The ensnaring thoughts and the restless mind. A mind who craves for attention, activity, progress, companionship and a route AWAY from the inner self. A mind who seeks troubles that pleases the need for movements. But movements, which are unreal. So I believe that I moved or changed and most importantly learned.
Did I?
I am laughing out loud for being idiotic.
It is excruciatingly painful to put the unspeakable into words. But if it this the only way we can communicate, then please forgive the inaccuracies.
The answer is, no. I didn't change nor did I learn. It is merely a transference.
Swords penetrated the fragility of the five senses. It hurts; reality always does, doesn't it?
Soon, very soon the pull towards the darker side will come again.
The conflict begins. Perhaps, it merely continues.
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