A Letter to Father

Dear papa or should I call you daddy
Whatever, leave it - both names are silly
Maybe father as I always called you
If you remember, I am your kid too
I don't mean to be rude
My writing neurotic and crude
Even when you rest in peace
I caused you unease
The trees are quiet if you want to know
Awaiting a thunder to blow
As I write you this letter
Your image is a fetter
I don't know when was the last time we hugged
Not that I mind but when I saw you on the rug
Your face a little blue
What should I do?
Touching your hand seems so strange
Air suffocates your eyes estranged
For me to be there at that moment
To you it must be a torment
Your last seconds in the host
Before a person you dread most
Though I wished you lasted a little longer
For there is a question I have no answer
Should I get a reply
I wouldn't even ask why
It's the same puzzle torturing you
A confrontation overdue
The secret now lays burried
In death it shall be cherished
Your name I carry forever
The pain I forget never
How can I learn to cry?
A thunder sounds the evening sky
But it will never rain
No water to quench the grain
As I write you this letter
Your image is a fetter.