ODE TO MY FATHER
It was only when my dad left this world that I realized how much I had taken for granted those moments in time that were spent with him. Looking back, instead of treasuring those precious moments that were scarcely available to him, I was someone in a hurry to get back to KL after the obligatory Chinese New Year reunion.
My dad left us most unexpectedly and the pain that came upon me was grievous and overwhelming. He waited long enough for me to arrive just in time before he exhaled his final breath. I felt like a little lost child, his father no longer in sight … How strange for one in his late forties with a family of his own to feel like this. I know now that the worst days of a bereavement are the day that a loved one dies and the days after the burial. Years ago my father sobbed uncontrollably when his own father's funeral was over. I was too young to understand then but I do now.
My only consolation is that my dad had gladly received a copy of the earthquake charity musical VCD which my daughter and I organized last December. Deep down, I know my dad was really happy and proud that his son had helped organize two charity musicals within a span of 11 months, the former being for tsunami victims. He did not attend either of the musicals but was a long time fan of the Wayfarers.
I once dreamt of driving a brand new Merc home so that I could take my parents for a spin. But it probably meant more to my dad that his son and grand-daughter followed his musical footsteps (he was a fine mandolin and ukulele player), beyond what he had hoped for. He can rest in peace knowing that he wasn't given the brush-off as far as his musical legacy was concerned. My only wish is that he will be able to meet someone or being who can teach him the practice of vipassana...
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